Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Paterson’s Posse to Mallacoota


9 to 11 March 2013


Two night riders (the stayers):

Ian & Sally Paterson (ride leader) his trusty blue ‘wing

Al & Lyn Munday Kawasaki GTR 1000

Chris & Maream Dietzel Kawasaki GTR 1400

David Greig & nobody else (ride scribe) the still gorgeous Triumph Thunderbird



One night riders (1 night raiders):

Andrew & Kathryn Campbell Honda Goldwing – but a different blue

Peter Arday (club comedian) Honda ST1300

Trevor McLeod Yamaha FJR1300

Brian Agius  Honda ST1100





Seeing as this is ‘el presidentes’ ride it seems most fitting to start the ride report with one of Ian’s famous ‘true stories’…………. the difference the time of course, is that this is a TRUE story AND it involves said el presidente 

It goes something like this - & of course we don’t let facts get in the way of a good yarn, do we?


The Paterson’s, it seems, were only a few metre’s from home & had indeed not even left their street when the unthinkable happened. Immediately upon turning out of their street Ian’s mirrors were filled with the dreaded colourful red & blue light display often associated with the constabulary – yes members, Ian had been busted for failing to adequately stop at the STOP sign! In his own words “…. but nobody ever stops there & it shouldn’t be a stop sign anyway – ridiculous…..” says Ian.


But wait, there’s more folks, yes indeedy…… upon fessing up to the ‘crime’ & being asked by the young lady constable for his driver’s license, Ian decided to instead present his AMEX card – we can all only surmise that our illustrious President was indeed set on paying his fine on the spot possibly only to be told they are not empowered to collect fines on the spot……. of course he may also have been attempting to bribe the good lady constable…… hmmmmm.


The upshot is Ian actually escaped with a warning “not to do it again” to which he duly promised! A footnote from Sally is that Ian had the shakes for quite some time after that, but he must have calmed down by the time they arrived at Caltex Hume.


So once the Paterson’s had arrived – very close to the allotted start time, if not actually late & after regaling us of his antics with the local Police Ian gathered us around & outlined the route we’d take to Mallacoota – down the Monaro to Cooma - to - Nimmitabel (compulsory pie & coffee) – to Bemboka (actually a couple of k’s past Bemboka hang a right) – to Candelo – join the Princes at Wolumla – then down the Princes to Eden for lunch. Then after lunch on the Princes again to Genoa & then left to Mallacoota. This all sounded pretty good to most of us as they had been there before, but to me it was all gooble-dee-gook!


Some 20 minutes late the small band of Ulysses brothers & their sisters mounted our trusty steads and headed down the Monaro.

An uneventful & boring ride to Cooma – taking the Polo Flat by pass we, collectively arrived at Nimmitabel & enjoyed an excellent coffee, pie & chat - although ‘some’ of us (namely the ladies reneged on the pie & had a cake) at the bakery. 


After 30 odd minutes we mounted up again & headed departed for the lunch stop at Eden. The route down through Candelo was pretty damn good although there was more traffic that I was expecting, especially the ‘goose’ in the orange XR Falcon – what a goober!


I have no idea what the name of the lunch joint was but my ‘fush & chups’ was not too bad & the location overlooking the local marina was pretty neat.

At precisely 1335 (or was that 1340?) we again mounted up & went looking for a servo to fuel up. At precisely 1350 we departed Eden for our final destination – thereinafter I didn’t take notice of time as it was simply time to get it done & crack open the beers for by now it was getting bloody warm!

So warm in fact that beers were held over in favour of a dip in the pull (that’s pool to you Aussies). Where, you guessed it – Ian broke out the budgie smugglers! 

Evidently this form of attire is an improvement over past performance ....egads!
 
But I’m told this year’s style is a significant improvement on previous attires Ian has modelled. After the swim we gathered around a picnic table, shared some nibbles or snacks (or whatever you guys call them) & cracked a couple of stubbies while we contemplated where we would go for dinner. Based on previous visits down that way, the local Golf Club was agreed upon. Such is the way these days, the Club put on a courtesy van & we had door-to-door service & the meal was reasonable although not up to Ian & Sally’s last visit there – the large mob of ‘roo’s entertained us for a short while although the ladies payed unusual attention to a couple of large & a little over zealous boy roo’s . By 2015 the courtesy bus was back & we headed back to our digs where pretty much everyone turned in for the night – must have been the big ride!


Sunday dawned – thank goodness otherwise we’d be dead, & after a totally uninspiring breakfast we set the 1-night ‘raiders’ on their way & the 2 night ‘stayers’ prepared for the scheduled ‘cruise’ on the lakes (or should that be estuaries?). We had intended on walking to the jetty as ‘el presidente’ had confidently stated it wasn’t even a couple of k’s away – well strategic use of a number of smart phones soon corrected that point showing it was more like 4 or 5 k’s away & while we may have got there ok, getting back was another issue, especially given it was expected to VERY hot later in the day – which it turned out to be! Ian & Sally, having done the cruise previously, abstained so the rest of us proceeded to enjoy a couple of hours on the briny – very nice it was to! Mental note to self – fishing next time!
The Mob on the Porkie Bess

Such was the heat, we had another dip in the pool & finished the afternoon “conserving our energy” – some might say ‘nana napping’ before meeting in the bar to decide on that night’s dining establishment, which turned out being the pub as it happens. At precisely 2030 dinner was adjourned in favour of Downton Abbey & what-have-ewe’s on the telly so we all bid our goodnights but agreed we’d head off at 0800 Monday & stop at Cann River for breakfast before making our way to Cooma & Canberra via Bombala. 


After a reasonable brekky at Cann River we headed off toward Bombala – what an outstanding piece of road, especially out of Cann River. After a brief leg stretch at Bombala we decided on a detour through Maffra to Cooma – this was a great run, except for a mob middle-aged Muppet’s on Harley’s, & other makes who may have had some technology we didn’t know about as their ability to see round corners & over hills was exceptional – glad to see muppets exist in Oz as well!


Lunch at the Lott in Cooma was pretty good & at roughly 1250 we bid our farewells headed for home.


What can I say. Even though numbers were down on what I was expecting it was yet another enjoyable Canberra Ulysses Club ride. Special thanks to Ian for leading the ride & to everyone for making the effort. I for one really enjoy the overnight rides as you really get to know people better.